PreKijuju
by Hina-86
Summary: Just like post Kijuju, but before. Though, you wouldn't see this in the game, Chris wants to gather as much information he could get about his trip to Kijuju. Senseless Humor and a funny surprise at the end.


~Enjoy~

* * *

"Claire, will you help me break into Leon's place?"

"Why would you do that? And why on earth would you need me to do that?"

"I need to get some information for my upcoming mission and I heard he has all the tips in a secret report called **'The Kennedy's Report'**, and taking you with me would avoid me from getting caught,"

"How... Never mind," Claire shook her head, "Ok, I'm on."

Chris grinned. "Okay then, let's go bust that fake blondie's house!" he said and grabbed her wrist before flying away.

~*~*~

"Wow, this guy sure knows how to keep his place in one piece,"

"Yeah, talk about neat-freaks,"

"Claire, you're a girl. Why don't you become jealous and clean up that pigs farm you call a room?" Chris didn't see the heavy text book flying towards his head. "OUCH!"

Claire glared down at him. "Don't you tell me what to do or not."

They then spilt up; Claire going straight to the shining computer whilst Chris wondered the room til he finally found the shiny folder on the coffee table just in front of him. "Aha!" He grinned and opened the documented report to find two files, one entitled **'Spain, The City of Love'** and the other has the name** 'Ganados'**.

Hiding the first one under his shirt after he saw few pics of Leon in inappropriate positions with the president's daughter and some Asian lady at the same time for later blackmailing, he opened the second file.

His eyebrows changed from deep concentration to confusion to utter dumbness as he went through the first page, then the next page, and closed the folder after he reached the third one. "What is this crap about smart zombies with giant forks and people having disgusting leeches appearing from their necks after getting their heads blown to smithereens?" he threw the file away -it went out the opened window- and went to search for something that was really important, the kitchen's fridge.

"Chris!"

"What is it?"

"I've hacked into Leon's account-" "Send all his cash to 9588-" "Chris, I've hacked into his e-mail account, not his bank account!"

"Oh, hehe," he rubbed the side of his cheek sheepishly, "Ok, so what do you have?"

"Well, he got a large list of friends to be considered a secret agent working for the white house," Chris looked over her shoulder and screeched.

"Oh look, I'm first on his list! I'm his best buddy!!" Chris cheered before flying like a ballerina back to the kitchen. Claire gave an annoyed 'humph' and read the rest. "What? That bitch in red is second and I'm third?! I'll deal with that punk later," she murmured to herself.

"Hey, he's got frozen pizza! Want some?" "Yes," she answered without taking her eyes off the monitor. Chris came back after a short while with the promised pizza and soda. "Ok, who's on the list too?"

Claire glared at the chibi avatar of Leon on the screen before taking her food from him. "There's me, Jill, :blocked:Angela:blocked:, Rebecca, :heart:Billy:heart:... weird... Anyway:- Barry, Sheva, :blocked:Nemmey:blocked:, Sherry-"

"Wait, how does he know Sheva when I haven't met her yet?"

"Beats me," Claire said with a shrug, "Sherry, Alfred, :heart:Krauser:heart:... Ok, that's even weirder... Mr. Graham, Hunk, :blocked:Ashley:blocked:, :blocked:Carlos:blocked:, Dr. Birkin... What the... Mr. X?!!! Chris!"

He came from Leon's bedroom when he heard her shouting his name with playboy magazines stuffed under his 'Made in Heaven' jacket. "What's wrong?"

Claire looked at him with frightened eyes, "Mr. X is the name of the monster that chased after me and Leon that night of Raccoon's fall!"

Chris pat her on her shoulder, smiling and shaking his head. "No need to panic, sis. It's just a coincidence, you know, someone's silly prank to mess up with him,"

Claire thought about it for a moment before she sighed and relaxed again. "Yeah, maybe you're right," she turned her attention to the screen again to continue reading and suddenly gasped. "Oh my god! Chris!"

He was getting bored by this whole 'Chris!' screaming thing. "What is it now?!" he snapped from his place. Claire just pointed at the monitor, unable to say anything else. Chris decided to get his ass up off the comfy couch -he has to change his work if Leon was getting this much paid while he who has more experiences is living in a tiny apartment in a dangerous neighborhood with bullet holes in the wall- and went to see what made his sister's face become white like snow. He looked at the list of names and frowned at where here finger was and gasped.

~Albert Wesker~

"Oh. My. God!" Chris stared with wide eyes at the name on the screen. "Chris, do you think this is a coincidence too?"

"It must be," Chris finally managed to speak, "I mean, why on earth Leon and Wesker would be friends in the first place?"

Claire nodded and they both sat in silence, thinking about this new knowledge they just found out. Suddenly, Chris gasped. "Do you think that grocery guy is Wesker?"

The grocery, once owned by a nice old man named Jerald, was taken over one moonless night by the Ashfords after they declared bankruptcy. Of course, no one in the entire city knows about that nor they have noticed the facial changes of the now young owner or even the fact that he suddenly has a sister working with him, making cookies, muffins and cakes in the small oven she created in the corner of the mini shop in order to collect money to rebuild their ruined mansion after her T-Veronica virus didn't get much payers in the black market.

She rolled her eyes at him. "Chris, that's Alfred. He owns that place like 50 years ago, how can you mistake him for Wesker?" Claire said with a chuckle.

_*Somewhere else in the same street where Chris lives and in the same grocery shop they were talking about, a young blonde holding a bag of white flour in his hands sneezed and caused the flour to fly all over his face and around the shop._

_"Bless you!" Alexia called from the other side of the room where she was baking._

_Blue eyes blinked in the white room. "I wonder who's talking about me..." Alfred mumbled to himself then shrugged and went to give the sack of flour to his sister, stepping on a grave on his way.*_

Clair logged off and shut the computer. "You got the information required?"

"Yep."

"Great, let's leave then before the self-destruct system activates,"

Chris looked at her strangely. "What?"

"Never mind," she giggled, "Just something I always wanted to say,"

Chris ignored her and grabbed the apple-jam sandwich he prepared while he was his searching for clues. "I still have to make a visit to the library, to gather some more info and stuff,"

"Do you want me to come with you?"

Chris looked at her in the eyes with seriousness she never saw in them before. "Don't worry, Claire. I can handle reading books myself now."

And with that stupid comment, and a wave to the other direction of the room, Chris left his sister blinking at his leaving back before she turned off the lights and followed suit.

~*~*~

Chris entered the library. It was quit huge; he didn't remember it looked like this. Then again, that was probably because he never went to one.

He walked his way down to the comic's section, grabbing few for himself and some doujinshi Jill asked him to bring her, though he couldn't make the words since it was titled in Japanese and so settled to one with pretty colors on its cover and a cute couple holding hands and matched the letters on it with the note she gave him. *Yup, this is it,* He didn't feel like checking it though, it's probably some romance novel for chicks, he thought to himself and left, smirking like a dirty dog. Jill is planning something naughty for him, that must be the case.

It appears that not only Japanese Chris couldn't read, but English also is still a major problem to him, as the book he had has a red 'Adults Only' warning plastered on the middle.

After another long visit to the science fiction area and finding what he was looking for, Chris decided he is ready to leave. He turned around a corner and bumped into a black wall.

"Pardon,"

A talking wall? Chris looked up to see that it wasn't a wall, but the back of someone blonde wearing a black attire. "Sorry, man, I wasn't looking my way,"

"It's no big deal," The figure turned and faced him with a smile, and Chris smiled back at the blonde man with sunglasses. He looked cool. Very cool. Way too cool. Dangerously cool. That was when the dots knotted together in his head and gasped. "Oh my god, you look like some one I know! Have we met before?"

*Is he suffering brain damage?* Wesker thought to himself but played his cool part again. "I'm afraid not, I'm not from this area,"

Thanks to the dark glasses, Chris couldn't see the inhuman eyes as they glared down at him as he offered his hand to shake his. "Sorry to have bothered you, man. By the way, my name's Chris Redfield."

He couldn't help the evil smirk that forced its way to his face as he reached his hand out and shook the brunette's. "Albert Wesker. And like I said, it was no big deal."

Chris winced and pulled his hand back, "Wow, nice hold you have," he chuckled and rubbed his hand. "Ok, I'll be going now. It was nice meeting you," he then left him alone.

Wesker let out a long sigh after the man had left and went to the science fiction section to find the book Chris have borrowed, he had caught a glimpse of its title and kept searching until he had found only one similar book. He took it off the shelf and walked back carefully to where the retard bumped into him, cautious it might be a trap, then after waiting for few minutes he felt the cost was clear and sat on a chair. Wesker stared dumfounded at the title on the book in his hands.

**'One Hundred and One Way to Kill a Resurrected B.O.W.'**

Creepy.

He opened the book and glanced quickly through the pages. It mostly contained pictures of the creatures that was created by the T-virus such as the Zombies, Hunters, Neptune, Cerberus, Wesker, Chimera, Tyrant, Talos-

"What the hell!?" Wesker went back to the page that had his picture. The blonde hair, black clothes and the sunglasses, everything in that picture looked like him. With shock, Wesker continued to read the line that was written under it: 'Most dangerous B.O.W. found until now. Way's to destroy are still unknown.'

"Who the fuck wrote this crap?!" he went to the first page and saw the authoress name written in bold italian red.

_**~ADA WONG~**_

"That bitch is so going to pay for this!"

Wesker got up from his chair with a great plane to kill the Asian woman when something shiny caught his perfect eyesight. Chris has forgotten his comics when he left and he felt curious to find what the man with apparent muscles but more apparently no brains at all was going to stuff his head with. They were comic books, like the ones Sherry keeps in her study instead of her textbooks. Fifteen of them were about Spiderman, twelve Batman, two about Twilight, three TMNT, and finally, one Japanese unknown cartoon. He wasn't sure if girls should wear such manly clothing, like the one on the front cover.

Wesker frowned at this last choice, he found it to be odd finding a romantic comic book √judging by the beautiful color- in the mass collection about nature freaks, not mention the foreign language it was written with and he sure as hell knows Chris couldn't speak fluent English to start with another language.

As they say, curiosity killed a cat. Wesker sat down and read the first couple of pages from the doujinshi.

He shut it close.

Wesker's eyes were wide like he had a giant pineapple stuck in his throat. He glanced back down at the doujinshi, then looked away again.

Chris' gay?!

*I should start wearing more decent clothes.*

* * *

This was written in 25 minutes due to caffeine affect. My friend and I envisioned the **_"Kennedy Report"_** Chris was talking about and ended up laughing like we were high on crack and she suggested writing everything down n_n

Please leave a nice comment.


End file.
